Good Times Do Not Last For Long.....

29th of July, my first day of my very first internship... okay now that day was boring as hell...i mean obviously...if you are sitting for like 8 hours in a row doing nothing...oh not exactly 'nothing'...rather watching a person working...having NO clue as to what the other person is up to...u sure as hell are gonna die of boredom...but guess what...i SURVIVED...(don't bother asking how)

It started getting better and survivable, as time passed by and as i started working AND as i started getting to know people there...plus the kind of people i had to deal with lately...the ones HERE seemed to me different... and BETTER...a friend of mine says..."its not the people who are good or bad...its our behavior that makes them so"...i do agree...but i am sure she would not negate what i say next..."and there are SOME who continue being good or BAD no matter how you behave with them...SOME who are mean and selfish and greedy and have no self-respect...SOME who use people and when they are done, they start treating them as if they were the worst of creatures alive"...anyhow...coming back to the actual topic, my internship !! so it was not that bad afteral, i realized ...what i had NOT realized then was that how much i am going to miss that place...rather the people there, after i leave...

Okay now honestly i don't know what their opinion would be...but i really had (lets call it) the time of my life there...my vacations couldn't be more fun...it has not been a week since my internship has ended and i am missing every part of it...

To start with...the lectures that we (i and juniee) had with sir kashif... the debates that we usually had with him over something utterly stupid =D .... oh and how could i forget his NEVER-AGREEING nature... and the test that he conducted =p ... and the expressions juniee always wore with the name of a ''WRITTEN'' test =p ... and him requesting again and again that it be viva and not a written test =D and to WHICH, sir never agreed......how can i forget the 'friendly' wars between sir taqi n irum...and not to mention sir taqi's biscuits that he used to hide in the drawer =D ...oh and how they were once stolen by the neighboring dept....stolen and EATEN =D ...and the stories of sir taqi's childhood that he used to tell... how his sisters had made him a bride once =D ... and the way sir sohail (aka 'chinese' or kookoo or soha =p) used to call every one "MERA BETA"..... oh and 'the famous' BAREY ABBU JI and CHOTEY ABBU JI who used to scare the hell out of people =D ... and how i always used to request sir qadir to give me cash to count, and he..ahm' ahm'...well he always refused...afraid of my evil intentions =p .....and the fights over cheque books...well the credit goes to me of course =p ... i was the one who triggered sir adeel n sir taqi ...=p... and sir adeel, always calling me a baby, and not letting me call him uncle... and the pet lines of everybody there: ''YEH AAP HI KAR SKTEY HAIN'' and ''apko yeh haq kisney dia'' and ''aj toh apne yeh keh dia'' etc etc... and the way sir harry used to say "meeeeeeeeeeeeeeeesss" (miss) =D... and the independence day celebrations...and the 'cake' that never came...=p... and how everyone was busy blowing up balloons that day... and the brownies party that we had... and sir harry's new cell's broken screen that cost him Rs. 2,000... and of course the blame was on innocent me =p ... and the 'rooh-afza', 'chocolate' and 'leemu' day...and like sir harry said: 'roza tootnay ka shadeed khatra'..... and not to mention the nick names that we all had for each other...=D... and the countless pay orders that sir taqi had to make daily... oh and how we used to curse the customers turning up just half hour before the closing time...... and the over-crowded bank on the first of Ramadan when people actually forgot that it would be open the next day too..... and the vouchers of sir kashif and sir farrukh...huh...how much i hated this voucher checking..... and the meals with rabab and irum in the tiny kitchen... and the phone calls using the banks phone...well shushhhh ... and the sleepy sir zohaib whom they used to call whenever somebody was absent ... and sir mazhar who used to drink water twice every hour (or may be more) ... and all the jokes about the ''SISTERS'' and 'bari aapa' and 'ainak wali behen' =p and 'brothers' and 'minor to major promotion' and 'HAPPA'=p and 'lollypop' and... *takes a deep breath*...

omg !! this all, i am never going to forget!

now seriously...WHY DO GOOD TIMES LAST FOR SUCH A SHORT PERIOD?? *sobs*

And Then My Heart Sings To Me.....

The world is so vast

That I can see no end

A road is stretched in front of me

Having neither a slope nor any bend

I know not where my destination lies

Yet I'm walking without any halt

With the hope of reaching a door one day

Beyond which lies my destiny, with no fault

Whether or not I may reach the door?

A thought sometimes comes to my mind

Concentrating on what 'm looking for

I suppress the feeling of such kind

I keep on walking with a strange confidence

Knowing not why 'm so sure

That all this time there is someone with me

Who gives me strength to walk some more

And then my heart sings to me

It is the faith u have in your Lord

And truly now I know it too

It is no one but the Mighty God

*ayshah*

We need to believe in ourselves.....

So I was listening to this funny radio show and a girl calls in. What she said was far from being funny. She talked about how she was fed up of her life and could face the world no more. Just because of her being ugly, every body treated her as if she were some 'piece of shit'. After listening to her, there was one thought that kept bugging me the whole night, COULD THERE POSSIBLY BE 'ANY' SOLUTION TO THIS??? and that was when I ended up writing the very poem that follows. This poem talks about "FAITH", 'faith in oneself', how instead of looking for flaws in one's own self and fretting over them, one needs to believe in oneself. And once that faith and belief is there, then what-the-world-thinks doesn't really bother you anymore.

A QUESTION

I have lost the feeling of contentment

I have forgotten what happiness is

Nothing makes me smile

Nothing makes me weep

Nothing makes me laugh

Nothing makes me cry

I try to feel the sense of happiness

But I don't know why

I am always in vain

No matter how hard I try

People around me laugh and cry

But I don't get it, why can't I?

Am I not normal or are they abnormal?

Somebody please tell what is my problem?

THE ANSWER

O dear!

Don't be sad

And don't even think

That you have gone mad

There is nothing wrong with you

You are absolutely on track

Actually your problem is

That all your life

You have been looking for

Flaws in your own self

For instance, why aren't you happy?

Why aren't you sad?

Why aren't you this?

Why aren't you that?

Trust me dear

When you stop doing so

You'll definitely be happy

As you were before

*ayshah*

Together We Shall Die!

Anything i can dare
For the only one i care
The moments that i spare
With no one to share
The thoughts that i wear
The sounds that i hear
For the only one, but where?
I look for here and there

I want to fall on you
Like the drops of dew
For all i knew
Was i, standing in a queue
Waiting for you
To show me something new
As you are among the few

No care whether i die
Or even if i fly
To the beautiful sky up high
Always i will try
Not to make you cry
For no one can deny
As you are my
Most precious toy
And together we shall die


*ayshah*