Yea’ so right now I am thinking about this friend of mine, who calls herself my sister, and whenever she does, I am like, kdudewhatever =p. She is stupid and cute and childish and she has this exceptional faith in herself, by virtue of which she would always aim for things that a normal individual thinks of as very difficult or simply impossible. Ok! did I just call her abnormal? Well, she actually is kind of abnormal because if she has to do something, she would do that even if the whole world stands up against her. Like for instance, if she has to meet me, she would do anything to make her parents send her all the way from Peshawar to Pindi. She would fight with them and even bribe her brother to take sides with her for that matter.
Yeah, so I usually wonder how great a feeling that must be where you know you can actually speak your heart out (ignoring the above mentioned abnormalities of course =p).
And whenever she is down or upset about something, anything, (which she is almost every other day), she would call me up or ask me to call her (if she is running low on balance =p) and tell me what’s bothering her, sobbing while talking, she would tell me how miserable her life is and how every bad thing finds its way to her doorstep and how she was mistreated and how she hates so and so person and how she wants it all (the gloom) to pass by soon and I would listen to her and curse the people she hates and come up with some utterly stupid solution that would soothe her and satisfy her and make her happy. This cheerfulness might last for just a couple of moments, that is, probably till the conversation lasts but when you come to think of it, what a great feeling it is when you know you are not alone even if there is no one actually around to support you, when you know somebody is always there to listen to whatever you have to say, is there to console you when you are all upset, is there to stop you if you go the wrong way, is there with you when you are sad and lonely and dejected.
But I believe, there is something even more comforting than this feeling of someone being there for you always, and that, I think, is the talent of being able to speak your heart out to that person, and for the record, this is something I absolutely suck at. Unlike this friend of mine, and unlike most of the people I know, I lack this ability of letting others know how I feel or how miserable my life is, when it is, despite knowing that there ARE a few who would listen to me at any time for howsoever long. I certainly do not possess this ability of sharing with others. Like I said, I suck at it. What I am good at is this exercise of locking myself up in a dark room for hours and letting the misery subside, on its own. This may not be a good feeling, but I just can’t help this NOT-sharing thingy. May be because I don’t like people sympathizing with me. And what I dislike the most about this sharing part is the fact that the other person would keep on bugging you for the rest of your life, asking, “hey dude! So how is everything coming along?”. I am not really sure about others but what I feel like saying at that instant is, “dude! cud you puhlease now shut it and start minding your own business, because I have been trying to get over it and forget it for I-don’t-know-how-long and you just keep on refreshing it every single time we get to talk”.
